Photo: Reuters/Jorge Silva

So I was given the idea to do a sort of ‘what worked, what didn’t, and why’ post from one of you, and I think it’s a great way to stay honest.

Back in forever ago, I wrote a short story called “Something About a Bank Robbery”. The story featured a former CIA operator-turned-mercenary.

And I loved it.

BUT.

I screwed up pretty much immediately in telling it.

Let me show you what I mean…
Click here to open up the story in a new tab.
Scroll down to where it says “July 30, 2015 3:25 AM.”

Basically everything from that time-stamp down is completely unnecessary.
Wanna know how I know that? Because I could delete it, and you, the reader, wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.

In fact, I would have been better off deleting that whole scene as it would have added suspense to the story. However, in writing, I committed what’s called an ‘info-dump’ and it’s bad because it defeats the purpose of the story. It doesn’t show you anything. Instead, it hands out a grocery list of plot points.

Originally, I was trying to write the scene in the style of the film Ocean’s 11 when they’re talking about how to break into the bank vault, but it totally didn’t work on paper!

Just something to keep in mind next time you’re browsing for a novel, or if you catch a television character rambling for five minutes 🙂